Senior Computer Skills

Tech support:  What kind of computer do you have?

Customer:  A white one…

Tech support:  Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer:  Your left or my left?

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Customer:    Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘can’t find printer’.

I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,     but the computer still says he can’t find it..

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 Customer:         My keyboard  is not working anymore.

Tech support:    Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?

Customer:          No. I can’t get behind the computer.

Tech support:    Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer:           OK

Tech support:    Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer:          Yes

Tech support:   That means the keyboard  is not plugged in.

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Customer:            I can’t get on the Internet.

Tech support:     Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer:            Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech  support:    Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer:           Five dots.

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Tech  support:   What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer:           Netscape.

Tech support:    That’s not an anti-virus program.

Customer:           Oh, sorry… Internet Explorer..

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Customer:     I have a huge problem.     A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,     but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support:    How may I help you?

Customer:           I’m writing my first email.

Tech support:    OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer:           Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?

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This one and the next  are our personal favorites!   

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support:     Are you running it under windows?

Customer:   ‘No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.

The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.’

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And last but  not least!   

Tech  support:    ‘Okay Bob, let’s  press the control and escape keys at the same time.

That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.  Now type the letter ‘P’ to bring up the Program Manager.’

Customer:          I don’t have a P.

Tech  support:   On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer:          What do you mean?

Tech support:   ‘P’…..on your  keyboard, Bob.

Customer:   I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT